Heart Controller

He insisted on calling towards me, I, on the other hand, was focussed, Onto a being of colourful canvas, He went to greet her as I walked, The little girl with a pearl earring, He opened his mouth as to speak, I shut it awkwardly gazing distantly, His urge let him hum a long song, As I walked across the idle street, He twitched and glimpsed back, He shook my body aggressively, And tried to detach for a second, Excruciating pain causing numbness, But without any fruitful outcome, Tamed into a domestic kitten, Hugging for a forgotten memory. Wednesday, 25th of May 2011

He turned a page, read for a bit, then bookmarked it, He then stood and knocked on the door; my door, I opened it and invited him to a cup of tea with milk, He took a step then stood still and opened his mouth, I tilted my head just a bit to show that I will listen, But he closed it and continued walking to the table. I sat on the carpet crossing my legs as he did, too, He folded his arms as if cold then picked up the cup, And sipped whilst glaring at me through the steam, He placed the teacup back to its saucepan, ‘cling’, He opened his mouth and spoke of the past; history, I fixed few errs and agreed on many series of events. He spoke of tomorrow and I disagreed on everything, He spoke of marriage, of weddings and a bit of love, He spoke of copious grandchildren and a bit of love, He spoke of age and time and death and a bit of love, His warm proud gaze broke itself into the self of me, Aware of the mirror in front of me as I take another sip. Tuesday, 24th of Ma...

“Him, I, he, it, and is will become one or two!” Have I written this down so many times before, And so did he, a person, an entity of all names, I went further as I did before and listened, hmm? Things of distinct value referring back to him, He, on the other hand, had an awkward hand, Moving as I show significant control and power, Yet, he tries and wonders – still does – he or it, To him I am I, and I am but my own dictator, He assumes that I always walked on his path, Inadvertently, it is he who constantly follows, Him, he, it or I, an entity of all names, so rare! Monday, 9th of May 2011

I saw him pale-faced and shaking, eyes bulging out, He ignored my welcome and presence in its entirety, I stood stunned, static; took a step back, maybe two, Asked, consented. Waited, then for a flash of a second– He glared; studied my gesture, my smile, my blood, The other second was his rejection folding his arms, I saw him still pale-faced, shaking, but eyes full of grief, Patient without a history, but utterly comprehensible. Wednesday, 4th of May 2011

Speak to me about your world today. Tell me, once more. Ideally, you should quit this blabbering; though you love. Yes, and more; you and me, swim in your world. Explain! Once more it is, I guess, and then peace to you forever. So, how did it start? No wait! Tell me your world in future! Yes, future is in your little mind, and explain is what you want. No, yes, you guess, and you and I were here and there. You and I were once there and here then over and under. What do you say I speak first and then you can add. Add syllables of meaningless words to create nothing but you? Me, a heart, full of emotions and yet you speak of love? I listen and I quote, and I wait and I act, but I never mask. A pathetic act is a mere mask, but speak of love, now! Now is where my world is and start now to continue later. No, the so-called future is what all you think and never discuss. Then become a vendetta, a blabbering icon of lawless love. A great story untold, I believe, fabricated to your kin...

I rarely publish personal poems that are easy to understand without the use of metaphors and/or similes such as this one; titled 'Emotional Collision'. I am currently in conflict whether to share this poem or not. For now, I will keep it hidden, but I will share its contents. [deleted] I write this to let my readers recognise this poem since it is important to me. Maybe, too important or too scared for me to share. Yes, maybe both, but scared for sure. Sunday, 1st of May 2011