Heart Controller

As the candle within me dims bit by bit, Darkening my surroundings walking on uncertain paths, Losing any sorts of assistance, Leading me off track. My heart searches for its horizon, A horizon that is fading away, This candle is but a way to enrich its heart, A heart filled with doubts and quarrels. The sky's curtains begin to unravel, Moonlight invading every bit of shade, Shining my face and this pathway I walk on, Time to relight it; guided once again. 8th of February 2009

For my delicate petals to rise above this enormous pot, Reddish as they are, dryness will almost set them free, And for my body and neck to prolong the inevitable rot, Greenish as I am, this hell, a darkroom, is not a guarantee.

Born to this branch of an enormous tree, Thin as it was; firm and stable as it would be, Lookin' at me both sides, Wonderin' at he who resides, So long as he does not interfere, So long as she and I adhere. Blue as I was, pretty unpopular, although I was rare, Famous as he was, crimson for a colour, so unfair, Shoutin' across me stem, Searchin' for the letter M, So long as he does not come near, So long as she becomes sincere. She was very young; clever and lovely little girl, He needs to be dead; for white is rarer than a pearl, Starin' at me-self, Cuttin' parts of he-self, So long as I to him never appear, So long as I to her become very dear. In her life I will be without a he.

Born into it as the kid tears to death, Getting rapidly older second by second, Avoiding the eyes, the touch of the most, At times I hug her to touch, I reckoned. Born into it as a separated only child, Competing for fast dives, a warm alight, Unfortunate events, matters attract me, Randomly placing a target for this fight. Born into it as the death awaits a day, Joining siblings with a touch and a hug, The Sun rose from grounds of life, Death upon me, thank you very much.

So future, what have you been up to? Who will I meet and what will I do? What sort of precious life will I reside? Will I be taken away from it due to pride? Or survive my last years in a small hide? Or enjoy surreal sceneries found worldwide? How many times should I repeat them? However, rarely do you not condemn! But at least answer these vital questions: Would I leave good or bad impressions? Would I be able to save peoples' lives? Inviting them to dinner, until it arrives. I guess you were never created to answer, Even to those who have a deadly cancer, Enduring its burden for nine long years, Or nine days filled with endless tears. It sure does take a person by surprise, It is death, a lethal fog living in disguise.

As I shuffled onto my bed I felt her presence, I closed my eyes calmly as if to pretence, Cat-walking elegantly with her long naked feet, Our bewildered eyes were meant to meet, The intensified mood smoothed as she cried, I moved aside allowing her to lie by my side, Shifting closer to my face gazing in wonder, Feeling her heart reviving after being torn asunder, Stroking my cheeks whispering in my right ear, "Missing your caressing since your disappear, "Be easy on yourself as you seem really worn out, "This is me returning the favour, so do not shout". Strolling along with her tail, meowing; very showy, Pure white fur as if from snow; she's my Snowy.

This body I am carrying is tired, A disease has affected my mind, It is this that changed my approach, What would I utter but sick words?! Producing such awful consequences. This body I am carrying is tired. I wished from before as I do now, My expressions would not be altered, Yet, if you have heard me the other day, Is that a person talking or a crazy fellow? Patience has its effects, patience that I lacked. A disease has affected my mind. Before such an incident happened, Missing each other after a long year, An utmost joy, soon to be concealed, Behind the bars of loss and mistakes, No feelings, if such a phrase exists. It is this that changed my approach. A conversation I had with a friend, Wanting to do the same with another, Shouldn't this be easier than before? Or does my mouth have a different taste? Misused taste producing dreadful smell! What would I utter but sick words?! Speaking of morals, principles and ideals, Soon to be refuted by self-contradictions, Or were they u...